Q & A on Born in the Wrong Body with Josef Kirchner

Hi Roxie...thanks for your kind and generous support. I just keep doing this as I would feel selfish if I kept this wealth of experience to myself. I guess it is sort of like being a public servant helping to make the world a better place with more love and understanding.

Josef

Kirsten,

Best wishes to you on your journey. Enjoy every moment! I have received countless emails and letters over the years from folks who had regrets about their decision long after the fact and just didn't have the courage to do anything about. Now, I guess I provide an area for thought and hope if someone feels changing back might be unthinkable. I'm here to help people regardless of where their gender status is at. I just love people and that has come from truly being able to love myself.

Josef

Dear Diane Elaine,

While you may "feel" only a small percentage of transsexual persons regret their decision you would be very surprised to know the truth that lives in the shadows far beyond the gleefully upheld 2% regret statistics. Due to my media exposure and so forth I have received countless emails and letters over the years from even people who are currently held high on certain websites as "transsexual successes". It is exactly the fear of negative reprisals and such shock that you express that keeps many regretters quiet. The truth about the numbers of people who have returned to their original birth gender after a full sexchange are not reflected in the poor statistical data you may have access to or promote. More than half of those who receive SRS go into sleath mode and are never ever heard from again whether they live successfully in their new gender or later detransition out of the public eye.

I would dare to say there is no such thing as a "typical transsexual experience". The gender rainbow has many more colors than *some* want to allow. That is why I promote a group called www.unitedgenders.org. They do not tolerate such things like one type of transgender person/group thinking they are better than any other. There is harmony between the so-called "true transsexuals" and the so-called "mere festistic transvestites". Check them out. They are very peaceful, loving and embracing group.

If you were not aware, "Change of Heart" is only one episode in the series, "Born in the Wrong Body". MSNBC and it's brilliant producers have created a set of documentaries that aim to cover all facets of transgender life from A to Z. Stories of regret are only one small part of that series. Do take time to watch the others so you understand the fully rounded programming they have created. If you do you will see that the "majority" as you call it is telling their story as well as the minority. They have produced a very positive complilation of works on the transgender experience. And I might ad this series had been done by people who really care and are not just earning a paycheck.

Josef

Hi Annie Scott,

While I know your intentions are good and come from a place of love, religion really messes up a lot of peoples minds and lives. I myself after going through a lifetime of faith and searching and much study at a scholarly level, I chose to reject a belief in a God described in the Jewish and Christian Bibles or any other man-made religion for that matter. There is not a soul on this earth that can reach up to heaven and take the hand of God and pull him down for all to see on the 5 o'clock news. As far as I am concerned God is something created by man to force certain peoples idea of morality on all the people, even by force if necessary. I mean really, science has shown us with the brain studies how sexuality happens. Now what kind of God would purposely create someone homosexual so they were certain to go to hell for eternity. It's just crazy to believe in such stuff. I'm not saying a wonderful and loving Creator does not exist, but I'm saying for sure that not one soul on this planet has ever seen "him" or known him. We all have to just be loving and accepting of one another and compassionate. And as far as the God issue, we all just have to wait and see what lies beyond the grave? Just be a good person to everyone you come into contact with and the world will become a better place. Religion divides and causes hatred, murder, war, etc. The negative aspects outweigh the good of faith in such ancient stories.

Josef

Here! Here! Scott! Much of ancient Judaism is not understand by modern interpretation. I had to do my own deep study over a period of five years to find this out. I had some great and helpful Rabbonim who were not afraid to share the truth with me even if it was not the truth some wanted to hear.

And just a word on God. I am anti-established religion based on the fact that no man can no God at anytime nor has seen him, her, whatever. Lets all just hope there is a loving God without hateful rules that divide and cause hatred. I'm all for believing in God, but not the religions man has created around him to control others.

Josef

Troi,

Would you care to procreate some more folks like you? How about as many as the sands of the seashore or the stars of the sky? The world would be a better place.

Peace,
Josef

Gee Wiz,

I am a great advocate of therapy being a psychology graduate student and one who has enjoyed the benefits of talking about things with counselors for many years. Sometimes we keep things bottled up inside of us that we don't even dare to talk over in our own mind, let alone anyone else. It takes a person who truly loves their life and cares about themselves to open up to a therapist. I highly recommend talk therapy.

You are correct that no psyche evaluations or letters are necessary for chest surgery...be that for female to males or male to females. A chest is not a big issue. A chest can be easily restored one way or the other. What is most important that you show loving support unconditionally with your nephew. We all want to be loved and cared for.

I am not against anyone wanting to transition. We all have to do what makes us happy...life is short. That is why I really don't allow anyone to put a label of "regretter" on me. I've been through a lot, but it has all been a wonderful journey that I honestly can't say I regret. Yes, with all the knowledge now I'd like to go back and do some things differently, but the final outcome I have had may just be better than if I knew then what I know now. :)

Cheers,
Josef

Bob Gee,

Yes, I am amazed and pleased to see how so many forward thinking folks see my present state as very similar to the female to male transsexual who identifies as a gay male and chooses to keep their original genitalia intact and is very happy that way. More or less I am the same, but perhaps during oral sex my genitalia tastes more like steak instead of tuna? (a joke)

I have a Group on the internet just for guys who want and undergo Genital Reassignment Surgery and remain totally masculine. The group is also for their admirers. We have quite a few guys in there like yourself that are attracted to female to male transsexuals.

Isn't the gender rainbow a lovely place to experience? :)

Josef

Scott!

Sorry I'm too old for you. Email me and join my Yahoo group and maybe you will find your Beshert!

josefkirchner@(yahoo.com)

Charlene,

Thanks for your kind words. I am amazed at how many people saw this program. I really think fate has something to do with it. The producers told me that the first night the show aired it was the highest rated among the networks.

Josef

Kyra,

You can get a hold of me at: josefkirchner(@yahoo.com) Just remove the parenthesis, of course. Those were added to prevent spam progams from picking up my email on the net.

Thanks,
Josef

Lori,

I think you are trying to make a case to disqualify me as a transsexual and therefore blow off any and all of my experiences. From age 17 when I began seeing therapists for my gender and sexual orientation issues never once did any health professional pick up on anything that was not standard or classical for transsexual patients. You are expressing an opinion based on your anger or something else, but I'm offering the facts of my life. I had the advantage of coming out early in life and being surrounded by many other transsexual friends and my thoughts and feelings about my life situation never varied from theirs. As far as anybody knew I was just the same as all the other trannies I have ever known or have ever existed--a guy who felt like he should be a girl. My intersex issue of having an XY/XO chromosome pattern is really inconsequential since it does not make my brain operate any different from any other transgendered person. Brains are pretty simple when it comes identify what is male and what is female in the brain. People with intersex issues do not have any type of special hybrid model brain that makes them any different than any homosexual man who has parts of his brain that are more female nor any transsexual of whom parts of their brain are more female or in the case of a female to male transman their brains appearing more male in places.

(Deep breath) If all transgendered people were ordered as a matter of protocol to have their chromosomes tested they would be surprised to find out they may have an intersexed chromosome pattern although their bodies appear normal in their birth sex. Having an intersexed chromosome pattern does not guarantee that there will be any variances in the physical body. I'm sure many would be surprised as I was at age 40 to be tested and be told you have an intersexed chromosome pattern. It is a very common phenomenon affecting 1 in 1,500 births, but goes undetected without any physical signs. Of those signs there are multitudes of slight issues someone could have. When I'm teaching on this subject in Universities I go over what I call the "short list" of 26 different intersex issues a person could have that can go undetected. While detectable chromosome patterns and body issues may be one thing, there is something very important you and everyone on this planet must understand. The human species itself is an intersexed species. We all begin life with a female default in the womb and all of use have very distinct and separate male and female parts in that one little body. It is only at the time of differentiation of the fetus as 6-8 weeks that some male or female parts will shrink back and become dormant to let the chromosomal sex pattern do its job which is not always successful due to the fact that there are chromosomal XY genetic males born physically female when they have a condition that causes the male baby to repel and reject testosterone at the receptor level. Every male on this planet has two very obvious reminders that he was first a female in the womb before he became a male--nipples on the chest and the raphe, the fusion scar line that goes up the middle of his scrotum that was formerly labia majora. To call me out as intersexed and try to disqualify my experiences as transsexual are simply unfounded. If you want to say I was genetically more of a female vs you being more of a male who changed to appearing as a female, that is really an argument for fools. I really don't think you want to argue how much more of a man you were that became a woman to strengthen your "will the real transsexual please stand up" argument. It is precisely such divisions in the community that cause strife and retard progress and moving forward.

Now, to pick on Michael and his borderline personality disorder.....well, all I got to say is this...you must not know too many trannsexuals personally. You must also not know how difficult it is to diagnose borderline personality disorders. This type of disorder results from extreme mental hardships in life of which transgendered people unfortunately have more than their fair share due to societal pressures and discrimination. Michael also had issues with his religious faith, but he has gone through that and it is behind him. He now can see clearly what happened. It seems the only thing holding Michael back from returning to live as female is the cost of his expensive hair bonding? I know tons of transsexuals who wear wigs to cover their bald heads. Michael, in all fairness cannot use this as an excuse to not return to living as female. There has to be something more. That something more may be that he has lived life "as" both sexes and does regret his sexchange and really does prefer living as male now. Who is to say? If I was bald and wanted to live as a woman again I'd buy a cheap wig or get a hat and call it a day! Michael, if you are reading this I do not say these things to be offensive or mean to you. I just don't think a wig is an issue. The only thing you need to return to appearing female is a good shave and some estrogen therapy over time. May you be happy in whatever you decide to do.

Lori, unfortunately you appear to be like another writer here, Diane who is ignorant of the fact that "Change of Heart" is only one small part of an ongoing series called "Born in the Wrong Body". They have given the majority of the series time to telling the story of the "majority of us" as you call it. Putting your head in the sand doesn't solve anything. As I advised Diane, you would do good to watch the other programs in the series so you can realize your "majority" is well represented.

Josef

Josie,

Again, my advise to you would be the same for Diane and Lori. The Born in the Wrong Body series is not one sided. The majority of programs in this series are about the transsexuals who are happy in their decision. The Change of Heart segment is one small part of the series that has more to come.

Josef

Josie,

I did NOT change back to male mode for religious purposes. I am atheist basically with a small glimmer of hope as an semi-agnostic. I explored religion along the way and at one time wondered about such things and my body mode.

I changed back because I was sick and tired living as a female. It just wasn't right for me and now I've found my true happiness as a macho gay dude with a Mangina! It's just too bad that the medical establishment won't allow gay males to get a Mangina without going through the whole sexchange mess like I did, but I eventually found my way to my true happinees, but I bear the scars.

Josef

Ronnie,

Because most people do not understand that the human species is a intersexed species with bi-potential to remain the female default or undergo a metamorphasis to male at 6-8 weeks in the womb they will never understand how the brain is also likewise in its formation. Dr. Richard Green wrote a good book called, The Sissy Syndrome. A short synopsis would be that many pre-homosexual boys will be more feminine. As they realized their sexual orientation some will remain more feminine, while others embark on the journey to try to become more masculine just like all the straight boys have to do. What society believes is masculinity does not come naturally. It is a forced phenomenon. Being masculine doesn't mean your gonna wanna play football or climb trees as many straight men will attest to.

I can look at my life from many different angles. I can look at it a boy who was simply gay and felt too feminine in certain ways to remain a male like the majority of transsexuals do. I could also consider that the intersexed chromosome pattern had something to do with it, but that was info found long after the fact of living as a "transsexual success" for 20 years. I could also consider I was bisexual, leaning more towards gay. The straight community wants to put people in restrictive boxes--you are either male or female and we don't want any inbetweens. It is a shame that some in the transgender community want to also try to put people in little boxes to either include or reject them from their circles for what is usually for very personal based reasons that deal with their own insecurities.

Honestly... aside from all the transgender and intersex issues, after all I have been through, and examining all the evidence in hindsight I see myself as a gay male didn't allow enough time to grow out of the "effeminate stage" before coming into my masculinity. Despite living for 20 years as transsexual success and role model for transwomen everywhere, inside I was growing. I was changing. The overly effeminate boy grew into a man somewhere along the line and living as a female was realized to be a mistake. But again, I won't regret the experience because it made me a person full of experience and wisdom greater than many in this world and that is priceless. I was supported and prodded along the transsexual path by other transsexuals. I'm not saying that kind of support is wrong, but when someone is searching for answers having other people that you "feel" are just like you behind you and cheering for you is a very powerful thing. while becoming transgendered is a very personal thing. I know many transsexual people who feel they moved too quickly and site that the support network of other transsexuals via the internet added to their fast transitions. Between myself and another organization in Australia I have talked with hundreds of transsexuals that regret surgery, but of course people like Diane, Lori and Josie don't know about these people because they hide in the shadows. This is why my small part in the Born in the Wrong Body series is so important. There are people hurting out there that feel they have no option to fix their lives. I'm here to say you can fix things and do what you need to do to be happy. Don't think that just because you had a sexchange and it is a mistake for you that everything is over and not fixable. I'm living proof that it's all gonna be okay. And in closing, as another way to look at things, I'm very happy to identify as a male to female to male transsexual.... a man who is very happy being a hot stud with a Mangina. Welcome to close encounters of the fourth kind! :)

Josef

Tom,

I am located in West Hollywood, California and would be happy to interview for your show.

Josef - josefkirchner (@yahoo.com)

Jeremy,

My hope is that you are a fitness instructor here in the Los Angeles metro area! Email me.

josefkirchner (@yahoo.com)

Raven,

Thanks for contacting me here.  We have already spoken, but I didn't want the public watching the thread here to think I didn't respond to you.  As boldly as I have lived my life, I do still care what others think!  lol

Josef

Mike,

There are quite a few Mike's I have worked with, but the one I remember the most from Cendant was a very adorable, cute crew cut type blond, stocky build, with full lips.

Josef